13 posts tagged “music”

I had a HUGE crush on Michael Jackson back in his Thriller days.  As someone who *LOVES* dance and all kinds of music, I found him so innovative and magical.  He never stood a chance at a normal life, what with his family life and the greedy yes-men around him telling him time and time again how awesome he was.  That's not an environment conducive to growing up or maturing or doing anything but festering in your own ego and always hungering for something real that you can't quite identify.  His fortune and fame weren't worth that price, and through all the crazy stories and accusations and possibly even crimes, I always felt bad for him and wondered how different he'd be if he'd had to live in the real world.  He was gifted though, and the world seems a whole lot less glamorous and magical without him.  -My blog, my feelings.

I've been dreaming *A LOT* about loved ones in the past week or so, both people I've lost touch with, and people lost to this world.  It's been nice visiting with everyone ion my head, even people I don't think I'd actually get along with should we run into each other again.  ...I have to admit, it has me rethinking that.  Who really is the same person they were years ago, or even last week?  I know I'm sure as hell not.  We all live and learn and adapt.  It's been good food for thought.

I'm procrastinating starting my day.  Yesterday was a complete loss.  I'm at the end stage of a project, and tying up loose ends gives me a hell of a lot of anxiety.  My performance anxiety has nothing to do with crowds of people or approval, but EVERYTHING to do with the integrity of my work - knots must be tied impossibly tightly, ts crossed, every last scrap of data accounted for, ...  I get so nervous when I see the finish line, it sometimes makes me physically sick.  I'm trying so hard to change my thinking.  My daily affirmations this week have been all about trying to rewire my brain into having faith in my own work.  It's not working yet, but I'm not giving up until it does.

Been very much in the mood for singing cowboys lately.  I do love a deep warbly voice.  "The Highway" on Sirius radio is pretty decent, but not quite hitting the mark.  I wish I could tune in the local country station.

Ok.  That's enough.  I had more thoughts I wanted to jot down, but they don't seem as pressing right now.  Time to give Jasmine her meds and get some work done.

Friday was a loooong day.  Craig took the day off so we could get a jump-start on our weekend project: replacing the kitchen floor.

We started into the floor a little before lunch time, and so far so good!  We're still in the tear-out phase, but our plans to take out the cupboards and put new floor underneath them changed when Craig took a look and saw a mess of plumbing there.  Huh?  Plumbing *over the floor*?  *L*  Ok.  Whatever.  The kitchen pipes never freeze.  :)  But even better, that means the cupboards/sink/countertop stay where they are and we put flooring in only up to that point.  I'm not sure if this is considered "ok" or "half-assing it" (I'm pretty sure it's half-assing it), but it does mean *A WHOLE LOT LESS* work for us.

When it was going on 5pm, we called it quits and went into town to buy our new floor.  Normally I'm *EXTREMELY* picky about house projects and would never have thought about starting tear-out until I'd found *the perfect* new floor, but the kitchen floor was so hideous and we've spent so long debating what we wanted to replace it with over the years (while we procrastinated the actual work) that I was content to just plan on buying the best option we could quickly find.  We totally lucked out on that!

We borrowed the pick-up truck from work, and headed out to Anderson's to stock up on supplies for the project.  The first thing we did was look to see what flooring options they had in stock.  Craig's been thinking laminate and I've been thinking darkly colored, so it was a no-brainer when we almost immediately spotted a dark walnut laminate for less than $2 a square foot!  It's *GORGEOUS* flooring, and I think it's going to look so perfect in this old house.  Oooo!!!  I can't wait until it's installed!

But anyhow, enough about flooring, (for now).  We hauled our goods back home, unloaded, and drove back into town to drop the truck back off at the office.  I think it's so cool that our employers opted to trade in the fleet car for a company truck and allow employees to sign it out for brief hauling needs!  Seriously.  This is an IT company, so it's not like a pick-up would be a standard fleet vehicle for them, but damn that comes in handy!!!

After dropping off the truck, it was time to feed.  I was having mad cravings for our favorite Chinese restaurant, so even though we were a little dusty, we went out to eat.  We totally lucked out there because they had a buffet set up.  :D  Mmmmm.  It was delicious.

We got back home around 8pm, cleaned ourselves up a little, and headed out to see a friend's band play.  They play every other Friday at the Old Pines Golf Course Clubhouse, way out on CoRd 13 between M and N.  We got there and the clubhouse is like a double-wide all-season porch.  :)  The band was already playing loudly, and it looked like everyone in the 10 mile radius (of wide-open farmland - heh) had crammed into this tiny building.  We found a couple of chairs in a corner, Craig bought a Corona and a can of Mountain Dew for $2.50, and we listened and tapped our toes until the band took a break and we could go talk to the base player (someone Craig knows from his ham radio club).

We went out on the patio to talk to A., and we spent the rest of the evening out there, under the stars.  It was a glorious night, clear and cool.  We talked to a couple other hams who'd come out to hear A's classic rock/country band.  We tapped our toes and sang along and even danced a little when the band played "Neon Moon", a song we used to like to dance to when we were dating.  There was a crack made about the "Tomb of the Unknown Camper" regarding some flags that had been set up in some shrubs to decorate for the holiday weekend, and we joked about taking a golf cart out joy-riding.  It was a good time and I definitely want to go back out there again.

This was our second opportunity to hear live music this week.  Monday night we'd also gone out, just down a few blocks to a local church where people gather to play bluegrass and gospel every Monday.  We got there late, and there were only ten or so musicians still playing, but there were chairs set up for at least thirty, and we were told that around 7pm, when they start, it's usually standing room only.  The musicians were skilled and the music was fantastic.  I guess it's just people who like getting together and jamming, and they do it every Monday.  I definitely want to go back there on occasion too.

I love live music of all sorts, and I think it's absolutely fantastic that I have both of these options to get out and hear some tunes and even dance a bit, both close to home (out here in the sticks!) and both free to the public.  It's pretty damn sweet!  :)  Last night I'd told Craig, "If we're going to come out here now and then, I suppose we should get to know some of these people," and he replied, "Let's not get all crazy now!"  *L* 

I have the blues.  I've been trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me these past couple of weeks, and all I can chalk it up to is bad brain chemistry and perhaps the changing seasons.  By the time I've figured out I'm going through a bit of depression and I feel like I can talk about it, I'm almost always already on the upswing though, so here's to hoping.

I've been trying *everything* to pick myself up.  I'm not exaggerating.  Short of prescribed pharmaceuticals, I've tried everything I can think of.  The *only* things making me feel better are Craig's company, sitting in the sunshine whenever possible and listening to my favorite songs so loud that I'm sure I'm killing my hearing - which usually leads to dancing ...the music that is, not the hearing loss.  None of these remedies are conducive to work, and that's killing me.  I don't feel like I'm getting anything done.

Well, I know I'm not getting anything done this afternoon.  I'm sacrificing my hearing in exchange for a mood-lift while trying to get some long neglected chores done. 

Anyhoo, this song came up in my playlist and these lyrics seemed so appropriate that I actually laughed.  So I figured I'd sit for a minute and do that whole emo posting lyrics in your blog thing.

life's the same i'm moving in stereo
life's the same except for my shoes
life's the same you're shaking like tremolo
life's the same it's all inside you
it's so easy to blow up your problems
it's so easy to play up your breakdown
it's so easy to fly through a window
it's so easy to fool with the sound
it's so tough to get up
it's so tough
it's so tough to live up
it's so tough on you

Yep.  Now I need to crank the music back up and get moving again, before I'm too tempted to lie down and nap.

Move along now.  There's nothing to see here.

I've had the music from "The Wizard of Oz" running through my head all morning, no clue where that came from!  Now it looks like we're under a tornado watch until 9pm.  Should I be worried?  I kind of am.  heh.

I am LOVING my new laptop!

The hardware is sexy and powerful.  This is my first time working with a glossy screen.  I was skeptical about that, not liking glare, but it really does make for crisp clear viewing.  The keyboard is lovely too.  The keys have a great feel to them.  (Hey, aesthetics are very important to me!)  Everything works fabulously.  It's quick and quiet and hasn't choked on anything for even a second.  It did take me a while to figure out volume control on the keyboard - who would've guessed I could just tap the speaker icons at the top of the keyboard?  Wonderful!

Funny thing, but DVD capabilities have never even been a consideration for me because I just didn't have enough power previously, so I *completely* did not realize this thing could be used to watch DVDs until Craig brought me one off the shelf yesterday and said, "Let's test the DVD player."  HA!  Me?  Oblivious much?  What a nice feature to have on a laptop!

Now, Ubuntu...  *choirs of angels sing*  Wow.  I've been mostly a command-line kind of girl, so I had braced myself for a bit of a learning curve with this new-to-me OS, but the GUI is *wonderful*!  By far, most things I've needed to install/configure have been a matter of easily intuited clicks through the GUI menus.  Even the few things that seemed a little trickier initially turned out to be operator error in the end.  This is, by far, the most intuitive work environment I've ever used.

What's pleased me, perhaps most of all, has been how easily all my devices were recognized.  I've had trouble with some of them in the past, but this was all simple plug-n-play.  I plug my MP3 player in, and "iAUDIO" appears in my list of devices.  I plug my Kindle in, and there's "Kindle".  Even the card from my camera was instantly recognized.  No matter what I plug into this thing, it's quickly there offering me all the appropriate device information and accompanying software.

The applications manager and package management software are amazing too.  I want an address book or a terminal emulator or a different music program, and with a few clicks I get a peek at what's available out there, a few more clicks and it's installed!  Just.like.that!  I'm starting to wonder how quickly I'll be ruined for the command line.

I'm one happy camper.  The weekend has blown by in geeky bliss while I've tweaked this thing to my liking.  (Many thanks to Craig too for the use of his uber-geek skills a few times!).  This definitely ranks up there at the top of the "best things I've ever bought" list with my Kindle and my house.  :)

Oh yeah, and iTunes?  They can stuff it!  Amazon's MP3 download selection has grown significantly since I last seriously tried to look for things there.  I've managed to procure all but one song on my wishlist from amazon yesterday, and I'm quite satisfied with that service.  Between Amazon's MP3s and their Kindle books, I'm quite a happily loyal customer there.

It's been a very geeky good weekend.

Last night's "date night" was dreamy-wonderful.

It started out bordering on tragic, but I'm blaming that mostly on PMS.  I put a lot of effort into planning, more than I normally do, and I failed.  Both the primary and "emergency backup" outfits I had planned wound up having major issues that I did not foresee, so I spent over an hour trying on everything in my closet while fighting back tears for fear of making my makeup run.  I had also clipped my hair up while it dried to give it some volume (which I do all the time), and when I'd taken the clips out... well, it looked like I'd slept on it.  Just about any girl knows the kind of get-ready time I was having, 'cause it happens to all of us.  I was ready to give up and just stay home.

I sucked it up and pulled it together though, and wound up looking pretty cute, though I was in a heck of a snit by then and it took me about half an hour before I could admit that the night was not ruined.  It was really tough reining in the attitude, but I did it.  Take that, PMS!  You don't own me!

We had dinner at our favorite Lebanese restaurant, sinking into the deeply cushioned seats, and eating delicious foods from the array of plates set between us on the table while talking about a little bit of everything.

Though I was sure my issues getting ready had made us too late to attend the pre-symphony lecture, we actually got to the museum with enough time to stroll through the Egyptian exhibit while debating whether or not we wanted to walk through more of the museum or go sit down and get schooled on the pieces we'd be hearing later.  We opted to hear the lecture, so we grabbed a seat in the Peristyle.  The talk was pretty basic, mostly stuff anyone who'd taken Music Appreciation 101 would know, but the refresher right before the performance was very nice and I'm glad we went.

The first piece was the conductor's (Yoav Talmi) own twisted arrangement called The Double Marriage of Figaro.  It was an auditory funhouse, familiar at times, and then all upside-down and slamming together.  It sounded like a symphonic drug trip and it made me giggle a few times.  Good times.

The second piece was Mozart, Symponie Concertante in E Flat Major for Violin, Viola and Orchestra, K.364.  It was pretty, but very tame after the first piece, very symmetric and pacifying.  I was anxious to get to the Berlioz.

After an intermission, they started in on Symphonie Fantastique.  I adore that symphony.  Strings are always very ethereal and emotionally evocative, and are punctuated nicely with brass and woodwind, but it's timpani and percussion that throw you out of your seat and against the wall.  A symphony that utilizes church bells!  Freaking awesome.  After the last dramatic note hung in the air, the musicians relaxed, and the energy of the crazy ride we'd just been on drew everyone onto their feet, applauding like mad.  The guy next to us even let out with a shout.  I'll admit that a fair amount of classical music, as pretty as it can be, can really bore me, even live.  So it was a real treat to leave last night's performance with my heart fluttering and a smile plastered across my face.

Yep, major points to the husband for gifting me with tickets to that particular symphony.  It was a most fantastique(!) date night.  *love*

I'm reading a book about how stress affects your health and it's stressing me the hell out!  Seriously.  The first half of the book describes the human stress-response system and gives example after example of things that go wrong in people with prolonged levels of stress.  I'm looking at this list of very familiar symptoms and just getting more stressed!  I'm just about through the first half of the book though, and the second half is supposed be chock full of ways to deal with stress and all your whacked hormone levels.  I can't get there fast enough.

I have a cold again.  I thought it was just too much dust from cleaning on Tuesday, but when I stepped out of a long, hot shower yesterday and felt sore and beat up, I knew it was more than dust.  ...It's probably stress.  heh.  I need to finish this book!  But more immediately, I need to continue flooding my system with decaffeinated green tea and vitamins.  bleh.

Craig got the tree up last night.  It's still November and my tree is up!  *does cocky touch-down dance*  The rest of the greens and the lights will probably go up tonight (STILL NOVEMBER!) and then I'll spend a few days arranging ornaments, ribbons, beads and florals, getting everything *just so*.  This is a decorating record for us.  It's going to be sooooo nice to get all this up so much earlier than normal.

Gods!  I have three layers of clothing on, I'm sitting right in front of a heat vent, I'm drinking hot cider and I'm still shivering!

Been thinking... about stress and stuff and missing pieces and space ...and just about everything.  This year I actually managed to keep my new year's resolution.  I will be wrapping the year up having far exceeded my goal to have 365 less things in my possession.  It's cleared my head as well as my house.  I'm thinking next year is going to be about putting more back in my life.  I've cleaned up the clutter, now I'm more aware than ever of the things I want in those spaces.  I want more art, nature, music (playing not listening), education, ...  I've moved a lot of junk out of my life, now I need to work on moving the good stuff back in.  ...I don't know.  This is taking too long to write.  It made a lot more sense a little bit ago, but I think I feel a nap attack coming on right now.

Another night of restless and infrequent naps.  bleh.  It's probably a good thing I was too restless to sleep in this morning though, as I want to get up early tomorrow and go vote with Craig before he goes to work, and maybe I can repeat this early morning stunt.  I'm avoiding caffeine (*whimper*) today, in the hopes that an early bedtime will actually work for me tonight.  Seems like a foolish thing to hope for when being exhausted hasn't helped with the sleep at all recently.  Got to keep trying though.

Getting up early has it's benefits.  I got my grocery shopping out of the way and have the laundry started.  I have a ton of work to do though, and I've been too zombified to keep my mind on it.  I'm going to have to force the issue and just do whatever I can.  I have so much to do.

Speaking of work, got some edits back on the manual I just finished, and the changes don't look too bad.  I should be able to whip those out within an hour or so, and then, now that the software is finally stable, I will have my first completely finished work project in *years*.  Great googly-moogly!  It's so amazing freeing to think that this project will soon be done.  For real!  ...Better try to get back to it.

Dammit!  Nothing good from the mailman today.  *sigh*  At least UPS should be bringing my tape order late this afternoon.

...I really *love* James Blunt's squeaky voice.  "Back To Bedlam" has made the short list of CDs I love all the way through and never tire of.

So I walked away from my desk yesterday determined to enjoy my mental health day and do something fun just for the sake of fun, ...and I didn't know what to do.  I stood in the diningroom for a minute just thinking, and then I threw in a load of laundry, cleaned up the kitchen and threw in a second load of laundry.  I was thinking to myself, "Boy, I suck at this.  I don't know if I know how to make myself do something that isn't somehow productive."  I started cleaning up the diningroom.

Then I cleared off the piano.  Without really even thinking about it, I pulled out the bench, opened up the piano and pulled out some sheet music.  We've had that piano for *YEARS* and I haven't done more than dust it and look at it longingly.  I was kind of self-taught as a kid.  I could read music a bit and plunk out a tune very slowly, but I hadn't really tried to play since I was a kid.  When we first inherited this piano, I sat down just briefly and was horrified to find that I could barely even remember how to read the music, and I hadn't really touched it since.

When I was a kid our piano was a huge source of peace for me.  ...Not really for my family who had to endure me playing the same songs I liked over and over and over, but for me it carried me into a kind of altered state that was so peaceful and all-encompassing.

So yesterday I found myself sitting down at my piano.  I positioned my hands on the keyboard, looked at the sheet music, and I started to play.  Oh, it was slow and choppy as hell, don't get me wrong!  But I remembered how!  It all just came back to me.  I cried a little and giggled a lot and sat there for a couple of hours trying to get my fingers and feet to remember.  I will be getting back to doing that on a regular basis now.  I'd forgotten that feeling of being swept up in the notes and the melodies.

It was glorious.

Climbing back out of my head, I've also had Kanye West's "Gold Digger" stuck in my head all week too.

"Cutie the bomb
Met her at a beauty salon..."

Take that as you will.  :D