20 posts tagged “jasmine”
We had a long holiday weekend. Craig took Thursday and Monday off, in addition to having Friday off. Stuff happened.
My mental "week" started off last Tuesday when I had a pretty big anxiety attack. I was beyond the "exercise or meditate" remedies and couldn't think of any other way to calm myself down, so I added a little pomegranate liqueur to some soda and had that with my lunch. I had goggled "anxiety and alcohol", just to make sure it wasn't going to make me feel worse, and came up with page after page of warnings about needing 12-step programs and such. In the moment, I felt really low for resorting to alcohol as a remedy, but a) it worked, b) it worked fast, and c) once I was past the panic, I realized that I only have these attacks once or twice a year, and if a little bit of very weak alcohol helps me calm down once or twice a year, I really don't think I have a problem. Plus, d) less side-effects to worry about than pharmaceutical remedies. The next day we were talking with a coworker who brews beer, discussing the stigma of alcohol in the US. He had taken some European visitors out for breakfast, and was amused when they blew the waitresses mind by trying to order beer in the morning. So I've decided not to feel bad about having a sip with my lunch to bring my brain back to reality, stop the tears, and calm my racing heart and trembling hands. It wasn't a fifth of anything or even a whole glass of wine. It was a shot of very low alcohol content liqueur in some soda, and it calmed me down perfectly.
Wednesday I went to the office with Craig. I had a big meeting I preferred to actually attend rather than call in to, and my car was in the shop for a leaky master cylinder. It was to be a longer-than usual meeting discussing things that completely mix up my to-do list, but in a good way I think. Craig was more than willing to use my "needing a ride home" at lunch time as an excuse to take some well-deserved comp time and start the weekend early. We had Thai for lunch, ran some errands and went home to chill.
I don't honestly remember everything we did this weekend, but we did set up our new tent. It's pretty awesome. It was super easy to set up (and take down). We did sleep in it one night, a little backyard camping, which was my first time sleeping in a tent. Very relaxing to be outside, even if it was only in our backyard. Amazingly cold too, for July! I can't wait to actually go camping some time soon, after Mia settles into a new routine and I can board her for the weekend without worrying about her.
We also had our traditional 4th of July picnic and enjoyed the fireworks at BG, even with the rude people there. If you're going to play catch in the middle of a crowd of picnickers, you'd better be able to actually ...you know, CATCH!!! We had a ton of near misses with a baseball, and the same group tossed a football that would've turned over a chair and hit Craig right in the head if we hadn't been paying attention to their dumb game of almost-catch. I was fantasizing about stabbing the football with my pocket knife each time it landed next to us, and handing it back that way.
The fireworks themselves were most enjoyable, and highly entertaining. They seemed a little sparser than in previous years, and I figured it was a budget thing, times being what they are. After the finale, there was a huge encoure though, and then a second one. And then as everyone was walking back to their cars, large fireworks continued to go off in the sky for another 15 minutes or so. Methinks they had some wiring/fuse issues. :) They were gorgeous, as always though, and the crowd watch in near silent awe, except when the perfect smiley face burst over all our heads and cracked everyone up. :)
Sunday morning we went out for breakfast, and after being playfully harassed by the waitress and enjoying a good meal, we were told that some other couple had paid our bill with the message, "Have a nice day." Craig and I were momentarily stunned by the act of kindness. It's silly how stupid difficult it was to process a random kind deed like that without suspicion and intense curiousity. Our waitress winked and said, "I think you have an admirer, and I think it was HIM, not her." Then Craig tripped a circuit in her brain when he replied, "I'm ok with that. I'll take any admirers I can get these days!" *L* :) We picked an older couple in the restaurant and anonymously paid for their breakfast before we left, passing on the good deed.
We also had a too-brief visit from some good friends this weekend, we did a little antiquing, Craig worked on a project in the garage, ....um, I don't know what else. Sunday and Monday my thoughts were pretty much all on Jasmine.
Yesterday, on our way home from the vet, we stopped and picked up a harness and leash for Mia. We're going to have to provide her with a lot more entertainment and enrichment now that she's without bunny companionship. I'm going to *TRY* to leash train her so I can take her out in the yard once in a while. I may build a rabbit run too, but with the feral cats and eagles and some toxic plants and the large deck to hide under and her natural ability to dig and run fast... well I'm not going to be letting her have the run of the yard. I figured we'd try the harness thing first. We picked out an obnoxiously pink harness and leash, with a blinged out heart on it. I don't know why. It made me laugh when I was feeling down, so Mia must suffer it ...at least until she chews it to shreds. :)
So the "week" started with an anxiety attack and ended with the sad loss of a furry friend, but there was a lot of good stuff in between last Tuesday and yesterday.
And now, Mia seems to have fallen asleep with her eyes open, like she does, so I'm going to get up off this hard floor, go hang up some laundry, and actually try to get some work done.
We said goodbye to Jasmine yesterday. I don't want to talk about it yet, but since I've blogged about her so much recently, I thought I should say something. She was definitely ready to go, but she is still missed so terribly much.
It's just Mia and I at home today. If you only have time for one kind thought today, send Mia some love. I don't think she's ever been an only-bunny, and she seems very lost. We don't currently have plans to try bonding her to yet another bunny, but it's not out of the realm of possibilities either. For now, we just need some time.
I like to think that Jasmine is lounging in a sunny field of dandelions, reunited with and snuggled up to the Boo. She had a long and very good life with us. The Szczublewski Kingdom really misses our bunny princess.
Well, I know it's still way too early in the day to call it, but things have let up a ton already, and I'm thinking positive about the rest of the day.
Craig reminded me that he has Thursday off and we can take the car to the mechanics then. That would be preferable since he's the one who saw where the leak is. My errand can wait til Thursday too.
As for Jasmine, she nom'd the hell out of her special hot cereal, ate a nice sized salad from the garden, easily took all her meds, had a grape for dessert, and then started chewing up the towel to let me know she wanted down. She seems not just fine, but really good. She must've just got caught up on the hard floor over night and been sore and frazzled from sliding around. I'll have to block that off a little better.
Back to work.
Craig woke me early this morning to let me know that after *MANY* hours of labor, Anne had a baby girl. My heart is overflowing with joy for her! I haven't heard her name or any stats yet, but it's good just to know all are well, especailly after a long labor! Hopefully Anne is getting a little rest after all that effort!
I couldn't get back to sleep thanks to an ear infection. I felt it coming on yesterday, and it's hurting pretty bad today, from mid neck all the way up to my temple.
It's just as well I get an early start to my day. I'm going to try to make my brain do a double shift today, since Craig has Thursday, Friday and Monday off. I get paid hourly, so if I want to take those days off, I either take a chunk out of my next paycheck, or I make up the time elsewhere.
I'm worried about Jasmine. Craig found her in a corner of the back room this morning. That's usually a sign that the end is nigh, but in Jasmine's case, it could also mean she stumbled onto the slippery floor, lost her footing, and after much sliding around, wound up in a far corner. I'm nervous, but when I fed them, she chowed down, and in my experience, when an animal is ready to go, they don't want to eat. Her balance is a little off, but she still managed her way to the water bowl after eating too, so the lost-her-footing scenario seems more likely. Still worried though, and painfully aware of the inevitable.
Some time today I should run one quick errand, and then drop my car off at the mechanics. I'm losing brake fluid. I really need to run an errand, but I'm nervous about driving it too, so I'm thinking I may just find some way to do without the errand, and head straight for the mechanics. Fortunately, they're just down the street, so I can drop the car off and walk home. I should've done that last week, but it was way too blasted hot and I was painfully sunburned.
Ah, Monday. Starting the week full-force this time, right from the get-go, eh? I'd better get some breakfast and jump in the game, before I get run over and left behind.
I got a digital scale this week. If I can weigh Jasmine at home, it saves me from having to drag her out in the summer heat just to get weighed at the vet's. I can also use it for weighing my yarn and things bound for the post office and such though, so it's definitely a good purchase. It weighs in metric or english units, up to 17.something pounds with an accuracy of 0.05oz. It has a tare feature and even a bakers' percentage function. New geek toy! :D
So, according to my new scale, Jasmine has put on another 10g since we upped her critical care food on Monday. She was .984kg when the doc first expressed concern about her weight, 1.006kg on Monday after three weeks of 40ml/day of critical care feed, and 1.016kg today after five days on 60ml/day. Personally, I think the season has as much to do with her weight loss as her age does, if not more. She usually seems slighter in the late spring when it starts to get warm. I imagine that being covered in fur, it takes some time to shed a little extra and get comfortable in the heat, during which I wouldn't want to eat much either. But, we'll do what the doc says, for she is wise in the ways of rabbits.
I *HATE* the warm season in this part of the world. HATE IT!!! I hate that the temp. is only in the mid 70s, but I'm sitting here -just sitting here!- sweating because the humidity is also in the mid 70s. YUCK! I don't know what I'm going to do today, but it's likely going to be something I can do sitting very. very still, preferably in front of an open window that's catching a breeze.
There have been many moments this week when I thought, "I should blog about this," but, ... *shrug* I haven't felt much like sharing. Which is not to say I've had nothing to share, or that my brain hasn't been over-flowing with thoughts. I've just been very much deep in my head this week. It's not as emo or navel-gazer as it sounds. There's a dark carnival of fun going on in here and I've just been content to hang out there with myself.
So, let's see. Briefly, here's some of what I didn't feel like blogging about in the moment.
We went to Super Cruise in Wauseon on Tuesday. I'm not car-crazy, but it was still fun to walk around and look. I was far more excited about the speeding freight trains that blast through the center of town quite a few times an hour (I'm five). It tickled me that with the street blocked off for the cruise (which was more of a car "park", really) the traffic control people tugged up a nylon rope tied to a pole across the wide street to hold people back when the trains came.
We bought a tent this week, a glorious Big Agnes Flying Diamond 6. Craig very wisely suggested that we try some camping this year just to make absolute sure I'm up for Burning Man next year, given that I've never slept in a tent. I love our new tent (it came today!) and can't wait to use it! (Though I'm still thinking I want a canvas tent for Burning Man.) What I forgot was...
Jasmine is getting fed three times a day now. (Which makes camping not an option. D'oh!) She had an appointment this week just to be weighed, and she's put a little weight back on thanks to the critical care feed, but not a lot. Dr. O. upped her special food from 40ml/day to 60ml, but she won't eat more than 20ml at a time, so three feedings it is.
I'm bummed that I can't take off and go camping this weekend or any time soon, but I'm so glad she's feeling weightier already and appears to be one content little bunny. I can't believe I forgot about her care while I was getting all excited about camping, but hands-down, it's FAR more important to me that she's well cared for and still living the good life. There will be PLENTY of time for camping I want to snuggle my bunny princess as often as possible while I still can.
Had a FABULOUS storm overnight, finally! If it's not asking too much, I'd like more of the same, but this time while I'm awake and can enjoy it.
I've been working harder than ever at keeping a good attitude and focusing only on what I want out of life. And it's A LOT of work too. ...Might have something to do with why I've been so quiet, what with all that tongue biting. heh. But I'm serious as hell about living the good life and I'm fully committed to working at it. I do believe you attract that which you think about most often, so I'm doing my best to only think happy, prosperous, healthy thoughts.
Well, those are the highlights, the bigger things I've thought about blogging this week but couldn't be bothered to at the time. Now, back into the carnival that is my own head for a while longer.
OH! I also wanted to jot down somewhere that while Craig and I were sitting on the porch swing earlier this week, an older couple drove by in a 1911 Model T Runabout (according to Craig's web search). The car looked pristine, and they were dressed to match with driving goggles and leather caps and scarves flying jauntily in the wind. They were both smiling from ear to ear in pure bliss, and the woman waved at us over her head as they drove by and time just kind of stopped and scrambled for one magical moment. I want that to be us. That looked like two people enjoying the hell out of life! It looked like they drove right out of an older time into ours, just for the adventure of it. Delightful!
I woke up at 10:15 this morning. I was totally ready to roll over and go back to sleep too, until I saw the clock. heh. As I was coming down the stairs, I could smell the fresh coffee and the pancakes Craig was making. Life is soooooo good!!!
Craig's out cleaning the garage right now. We got a dumpster to get rid of old kitchen floor materials and garage mess. He's working hard at it, and I can't believe what a drastic difference he's already made out there. He's reclaimed a ton of floor space! That will make it so much nicer for him to work out there on all of his woodworking hobbies.
I've got some dishes and laundry going, just trying to catch up on chores. It's a perfect day for putting laundry on the line, and I'm hoping I'll have time to get the sheets washed and on the line before we get any rain clouds on the radar, but the clothes and towels that have piled up all week get first priority. I also need to clean up the bunny room in a bit here, after lunch, I'm thinking.
I had Jasmine back at the vet yesterday for a follow-up appointment. Her ulcerated cornea is healed as is her ear infection, but she's lost a little weight. They put her on "senior rabbit mash". They called it "critical care" feed, but that sounds a lot scarier than it is. Honestly, she always gets a little lighter in the spring when the weather turns, sometimes even stops eating much for a day or three. They put her on this feed twice a day though anyhow, just to be safe, and she seems to really enjoy it, so all is well. We're keeping her on the anti-inflammatories too, for arthritis, and the special food she's on makes administering her other meds so much easier. I used to have to hold her head and try to pry her lips open with the syringe full of meds, but now I just sneak it in front of her while she's chowing her senior mash, and she takes it right down. :) I'd say, "my poor old girl", but she's definitely still living the good life. The vets are amazed at her age and her condition. I'm lucky just to have her company still.
Thursday night we went to the hospital to visit some friends who've just had their first baby. Mom and Dad are recouping from the whole birthing trauma, and the baby seems just happy to be here. :) He's the sweetest little dude. I got to hold him for a while, and I'm totally smitten. He didn't fuss at all, but just lay there studying me and occasionally drifting off. Soooo damn cute!!!
As we were leaving the hospital, I had the "Are you sure you don't want one of those?" discussion with Craig again. I'm probably a bit of a pest with that one, but even though we've decided not to have kids, I want to make as sure as possible that we don't get to be 80 and I find out he resents missing out on that experience. I think we'd be great parents, but it's just not something I want to do. I mean, if I was told to sit down and write 1000 things I want out of life, I don't think it would ever even once occur to me to possibly write down "a family". With it being that far off my radar, it's just not something I want to pursue just so we don't miss out on something. Aunt Meanie and Uncle Geek are still comfortable with their decision to enjoy kids strictly on a time-share basis. :)
Ok. Time to check the laundry, have a little lunch, then clean the bunny room. I also need to call my brother and figure out some time to visit, then I want to turn some compost into my garden and get it planted. Any other free time I have today will be spent carving/sculpting/gluing/sewing and reading. Gods, I LOVE the weekends!!!!!!!!!!11!
Man, I feel like total CRAP! I've been having trouble breathing since starting Jasmine on her treatments. Having her so close to my face three times a day is complete hell on my asthma. You never think about how wonderful it is to breathe until you're having trouble with it.
Jasmine is doing a little better already. Her balance isn't so bad, and she doesn't have to press her head into something stable in order to get some sleep. I'm not kidding myself though. I know she's very, very old for a bunny. She doesn't even fight me for most of her meds, which tells me she's wearing out very easily. Still, it's very good to see her not looking so miserable!
My grandma is doing well after getting her fourth heart catheter on Tuesday. The doctors had run some tests last week and found two serious blockages and open heart surgery was a looming possibility, but Tuesday morning they couldn't find any blockages. Not sure what's going on with that, but she's very happy that surgery isn't currently on her calendar.
Not much else to report. I'm just trying to stay awake for my 9:30 conference call. I took some allergy meds last night hoping it would help with the asthma. They did help a little, but right now I have all the energy and mental sharpness of a wet wool blanket. I need to get through this meeting, then snag a nap before sitting down to try to actually get some work done.
Oh, and I have a knitting frustration I want to bitch about and just get out of my system. I'm knitting a blanket in the round, from the inside out, and I'm near the end of the project, so one time around is about 500 or so stitches. Well last night I realized I'd picked up an extra stitch... four rows back! %$#!!!! I tried to drop it down through those four rows and tug at the surrounding stiches to pick up some of the slack, but it's not working at all. So sometime soon, as soon as I can stand to look at that project again, I get to pull out over 2000 stitches. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Damn. I really want to put my head down. 40 minutes until my meeting. I need to make some tea.
It's been a hell of a week, I mean seriously! In fact, April can totally suck it! Most of that list I made on Monday is working out the way I'd hoped though, and Craig and I are taking tomorrow off and having a MUCH-NEEDED three-day weekend. ...It's almost over, this week, April. Life always works out in your favor if you can just hold on long enough.
I don't really know what I'm saying, and I can't seem to stop myself, so I'm just going to quit now and go make some tea. *YAWWWWWWN!*
I'm so tired. Stress is exhausting. I have so much on my mind this week, so many worries, so much to see to, so much I have absolutely no control over. I'm trying not to resort to escapism in one of its many glorious forms, but I do really look forward to bedtime and falling into blissfully unaware sleep.
Yesterday was a hell of a day, for both Craig and me. He finally got home around almost 9pm, and after putting in a little more time on work, he made us a few drinks, we turned off our laptops and the tv, and we retired to the porch swing. It was a warm evening, almost too warm, but the breeze was nice and it's still too early for mosquitoes. We sat out there in the dark, sipping our drinks and chatting, laughing about our crappy days. I was just starting to feel the day melt away and was thinking that it wasn't all bad when the day could end like this, when there was a loud crack and Craig and I found ourselves on the porch. One of the hooks the swing hangs from had sheared off, dropping us on our asses. Figures. We had a little bit of a laugh over that, given how well it went with the rest of the day. But then as I was getting ready for bed, I knocked this little glass angel I love very much off my bedside table and she fell to the floor and broke. At that point, I really wanted to cry. There was the escape of sleep though, and that's exactly what I'm looking forward to today. I'm so tired.
Today my grandmother had a new catheter put in her bad heart. That was this morning, and since I haven't heard anything yet, I'm assuming no news is good news. I'll have to get over there to visit her real soon, since I know taking it easy is going to be tough on her.
I took Jasmine back to the vet today. She's been getting more and more off-balance. Everyone there fussed over her, as is expected (by her) because she is a lovely princess of a bunny. Still, she was highly agitated by it all and not at all amused. A couple hours and a small fortune later, and we're back home with two oral meds, two eye meds and some ear drops... to be administered three times a day. The vet tech gave me a sympathetic look and said, "I hope you don't have a life," but very fortunately I work from home and Jasmine is totally worth the fuss. The oral meds are supposed to be banana flavored, but Jasmine HATES them, even though the hedgehog that was in yesterday seemed to think those meds were the most delicious thing ever. She's not crazy about the ear drops either, but she does seem to *really* dig the ear massage that comes after the drops.
I have some guilt over the almost $200 I spent on my senior-citizen pet rabbit today, because I know someone very close to me who's in a major financial mess right now. I honestly thought long and hard about canceling the appointment and just handing the money over, but I just couldn't do it. Argh. Jasmine has been a very sweet and lovable companion to me for almost ten years now, and if she's not feeling well I need to help her feel better. But I do feel guilty about it. ...So much to worry about.
Oh yeah, and my brake light came on while I was out today. grrrrr...
Is is bed time yet??? I'm so very tired.
Let's see... Last I wrote, my allergy meds were having nasty side effects. I quit them and felt better. Still sick though. :/ This is *REALLY* getting old.
Took Jasmine back to the vet. The good news is her ulcerated cornea is healed. The bad news is that her sinuses are blocked and we have to continue with this rigorous three treatments per day schedule FOR A MONTH! This is wearing both me and Jasmine out. She does seem to be a happier bunny in general on the meds though. It's only when I'm trying to give them to her that she scratches and bites. *sigh*
The vet appointment itself was kind of traumatic. They put numbing drops in her eyes, then took a blunt syringe full of warm saline, inserted it *way* down in the front corner of her eye, and tried to flush out her nasal cavity by pushing water through. ...Except the poor girl is so stuffed up, the needle broke off the plastic syringe and water went everywhere. And the needle was just sticking out of her eye! I squealed and got a little queasy. They pulled the needle out, reattached everything, tried the other eye, AND THE EXACT SAME THING HAPPENED! I contained myself a little better with just a *meep*. It was horrible. They told me Jasmine was numbed up and it shouldn't have bothered her. Numb or not, I think a large piece of metal sticking into your sinuses THROUGH YOUR EYE is kind of unnatural and upsetting. Poor girl. I'd taken Mia in the carrier also that day, because the roads were bad, the temps were worse and it took us an hour to get there and another hour home. Mia provided Jasmine with warm snuggles and stress relief. ...She also made the carrier MUCH heavier!
In other bunny news, they'd liked the little handfuls of snow we'd brought in for them before, so we brought in a whole box this time, and they LOVED it. Mostly they ate it, but Mia thought it was nice to sit in. She's such a goof!
And then in other winter news, the week has seen my car doors frozen shut nearly every day, Craig's car so frozen that it wouldn't turn over, and pipes in the house frozen and, in one small instance, broken. Craig thinks our roof is leaking again too. And, have I mentioned that I'm still sick? I honestly still love winter though. The snow is making me happy. We haven't had so much of it stick around so long in quite a while. I hope we get more this week.
So that's mostly what's been going on for us this week. (Oh yeah, and BSG finally, which was AWESOME!!!!) Mostly it's been cold and I've been sick. I'm feeling completely anti-social these days, and I'm okay with that. Winter is the time for hibernating, and I'm pretty much doing that the best I can and enjoying the hell out of the solitude.
We did go out today though, for my nephew's 2nd birthday celebration. He's absolutely adorable, and it was a fun two hours. Back home now though, back to hibernating.
