25 posts tagged “family”
The challenges of the past few weeks are now history. Mia has a reservation for boarding, we're ready for our trip to Ireland, work is caught up for the first time since I took that job years ago, our sewer and water main will be replaced while we're away, and my sister and I managed to actually surprise my mom with a 60th birthday party at my house last night. Challenges are behind me, vacation is just ahead, and my house is squeaky clean. Today I finally feel like myself for the first time in many months. I can breathe ...and just sit, without guilt or anxiety or anything hanging over my head.
We're going to go to my house of worship today, the museum! There are four totally awesome exhibits there right now that I've been really wanting to see, but something has always seemed more pressing. By the time we get back from Ireland, the "Chihuly Toledo!" exhibit will have ended. As a glass artist, I -will not- miss this exhibit, so that's really the only thing on my plan for the day so far. We may or may not check out the other exhibits too. They're all free (love our museum!!!), but the other three will also be running for a bit longer, so we'll have time to catch them on future visits.
The party last night was a smashing success. My mom was genuinely surprised. :) My sister made a gorgeous and -delicious- cake. It had Baileys in it, lots of chocolate flowers and tons of buttercream frosting....unf. Everyone had a good time. Craig talked radio with the uncles. The kids were totally enchanted with the bunny, who, surprisingly, didn't seem to mind them too much. Uncle Mats thought our potrack was brilliant (thanks, Deb & Brian!) and since we still had the other one from the set in the garage, we we able to send them home with one. Everyone talked and talked and laughed and laughed. Good times.
I need some gum and a neck rub. My jaw is so tired and sore, my neck and shoulders so knotted, ...for days now.
I bailed on the funeral today. I'm not proud of it, but I am glad I didn't go. I got up early and got my shower and workout out of the way so I could go. I ate a high fiber cereal and some yogurt for breakfast to anchor my nervous stomach. But when it came time to put up my hair and hit the road, I totally chickened out. My stomach started rolling, my blood pressure shot up and I was shaking and dizzy. Stupid nerves. It was the usual social anxiety plus dreading driving myself to the nasty part of town where the funeral home is plus dreading being introduced to 3rd and 4th cousins, all on top of other stress I'm dealing with this week. I started feeling like I was going to throw-up and/or pass out, and I totally bailed. Instead, I put some comfy clothes back on, lit a candle for my dad's Aunt Helen, wished her well on her journey, and asked her to say hi to my Dziadzi for me. I do need to call my dad and apologize though. I hope he understands.
The plumber came by with a contract yesterday. $4800 worth of work to be done. Aieee! It's kind of working out that we're saving money actually though. We were told our water main was ready to fail at any time last year, so we've had our fingers crossed on that for a while now, knowing what a huge and expensive project it would be. Now our sewer line received the same diagnosis, with a quote of $3500'ish just for a new sewer line. So we're saving quite a bit of money by having them both replaced in only one dig-up-the-yard event. I'm trying to remind myself of that anyhow. The near $5k bill still hurts.
But, the work is scheduled for the week we'll be in Ireland after all. Both Craig and the plumber really thought that was fortunate timing. I'm a little antsy about having people in my house while we're half a world away, but the plumber is a good guy, and as long as he's over-seeing things, I can feel some peace-of-mind. ...or at least keep telling myself I do. It's not that I'm afraid of anything going missing. My house is just completely sacred space to me, and it feels very wrong to have near strangers moving through it while I'm so far away. It'll be ok though. And, we won't have to worry about coping without usable plumbing while the work is done.
As for the party planning, ...oy. Lots of little twists and turns there, but the head party-planner is a smart and sassy, dedicated woman and she's ironing out all the wrinkles one by one. I'm going to have to find some way to show my appreciation for her efforts in all of this. Right now my role is pretty straight-forward: I have location and beverages. *breathes* It's going to be ok.
Tomorrow is Mia's vet appointment. *Fingers crossed* that all goes well there and they say she's fit to board.
...One thing at a time.
...And later, batting my eyes at my husband to ask him to work out the knots in my neck.
Craig and I rolled out of bed this morning, straight into the shower, and then out the door. He took me first to breakfast, and then to my very first hamfest (amateur radio enthusiast swap meet). That was ... weird. It looked to a non-radio person like myself as if a bunch of people had ripped the electronic components out of everything they could, thrown it all in Tupperware containers and laid it all out over a huge hall full of tables to try to sell. Craig seemed to enjoy looking through it all, and I had a belly full of pancake, so I was content just to walk around holding his hand.
We did run into a couple of the guys from his local radio club, and I got to meet their wives. They're all very nice people. There's a club meeting tomorrow night and I had no plans to go until the ham-wives (oh gods, I'm a ham-wife!) told me everyone always goes out to dinner before the meeting and I should come along. So I'm looking forward to that tomorrow!
After the hamfest, we went book shopping (picked up a book on pen and ink with watercolor) and then for coffee to kill a little time, and then out to my cousin's farewell gathering.
I had a great time hanging out with my family. I talked semlore recipes and travel with my Swedish uncle; tv, travel, music and Facebook with my cousins; and crafts with my aunties. Craig and my uncle talked amateur radio the whole time, so that was cool, that they each had someone to geek with. :)
I'm very grateful for Facebook today, first because even though my cousin is moving many states away, I'll still be able to keep in touch easily. I also came home tonight to find two new friend requests, one from an old grade school and then college classmate, and another from an old high school friend. I do really love how small the internet makes the world!
Also in people+internet news, someone joined my "Lampwork Addicted" Twine today! :D It's not exactly popular, with only us two members, but I'm tickled they even found it since I haven't made an effort to promote it yet.
I'm looking forward to this week. We've got the ham club dinner and meeting tomorrow night, my mom is coming over for lunch and a movie on Tuesday, Wednesday art class resumes, Friday is the 2-hour finale for BSG, and Sunday is a baby shower for a couple of dear friends. ...Which reminds me, I really should get back to my knitting!
There seems to be a lot of new, wee people coming into my social circle this year. It's all very exciting, but I'm glad I didn't catch whatever is going around! ;)
We actually talked a bit about motherhood in my art class on Wednesday, all realizing that we're on the same page as far as not wanting kids. heh. :) Our instructor brought it up first, talking about how her doctor keeps reminding her she's running out of time. She'll be 39 in May, I'll be 39 in August, and there's a gal who's 40 that sits next to me. None of us want kids. There's an older lady in our class too, but she shared that she was happy to be an aunt but never had or wanted any kids of her own. Our instructor theorized that our need to create is met with art and craft work, so we don't feel such a need to create people. :) It kind of makes sense.
So, anyhow, there's my drawing from class. The wings and tail are way too small and I'm not pleased with their coloring, but I kind of rushed to add those in toward the end of class, while I still had access to all the classroom pastels. I spent the majority of the class on the bird's head and body, and I'm thrilled with the results I got. It really was impressive how easy it was to layer colors on that paper! The flowers are obviously incomplete. I was planning to finish the drawing until I got home and saw how out of proportion some of it is. I'm not sure if I can fix that at this point, but I may try.
I was very pleased to learn how inexpensive decent pastels are, as opposed to those expensive colored pencils I used last week and can't stop thinking about. (*WANT!*) Even my cheapie pastels from high school performed respectably on that lovely paper. I think we'll probably be clipping a coupon and picking up a $30, half-stick set of Rembrandt pastels at Michaels some day soon. :) And maybe someday I'll pick up a few individual colors, as needed, from the Unison line. I asked Tracey if they were worth the cost, and I swear her eyes fluttered back in her head and she swooned a bit before replying, "They draw like butter! They're like clotted cream." But for the most part, I'm relieved that this week I found that the inexpensive materials performed well enough for me.
And speaking of things I made, I cooked a venison roast last night. Craig's sister and her family gave us a generous and much appreciated gift of frozen game meats this year. Mmm, Christmas meats! This was my first time cooking game meat, but I was excited to try it, knowing how much healthier it is for you than the grain fed stuff you get at the store. I used this highly rated recipe, and the flavors were mouth-wateringly perfect! It looked fantastic too, with a nice crusty searing on the outside, and bright red meat on the inside. It was a little tough though, which did not stop it from being f'ing fantastic! I'm not familiar enough with venison to know if it's just tougher meat, or if I should've picked a recipe that cooked at lower temps for a much longer period of time; it was a "roast" after all. It was really damn good though, and I have enough left over to chop up and put in soup this weekend or maybe some chili! Delicious! I can't wait to try the elk steak!
Oh, and I know this is a long entry, but I have one last thing I want to shout about. My cousin is pitching for the University of Toledo Rockets this year, and I couldn't be more excited for him! He had *professional* scouts taking notice when he was still in high school, he's that good. Normally I think baseball games are major snoozers, but I have to admit I'm pretty excited about getting out to his home games to watch him play this year! Looks like the first game I could get to is March 17th. His first game of the season is this weekend though, in Kentucky, and I'm wishing him all the sporty luck in the world!
Ok, that's all I have. YAY! WEEKEND! Can't wait for BSG tonight! In the mean time, I have some stuff to do, so I'd best get to it!
Ok. I need to post the final installment of "what I did last weekend" since the next weekend is right around the corner now.
Sunday was a crazy day. We left the house at 9am and didn't return until after 10pm.
Sunday was my niece's 4th birthday party. My sister and her husband held a brunch birthday party starting at 11am, so we had to get out the door by 9am in order to make the drive. Ug. That makes a full weekend of waking up to an alarm clock, which makes for a cranky Jen and Craig. Oona is worth it though. She's an awesome kid.
My sister told me a cute story I want to put down here for my own memories. She said Oo was out shopping with her dad somewhere, and this dance troupe comes in to do a dance recital at the shopping center. My sister said Oo plopped right down on the floor and told her dad, "We're watching this." It was not a question. :) She loves a production; just another thing she has in common with her Aunt Meanie.
The party was difficult for this introvert. I was already exhausted from the earlier weekend activities, and even though there were only five kids there and only three were running around making a ton of noise, there were also at least three different conversations going on within earshot at all times and the stereo was on. All the racket and chaos made me extremely uncomfortable and shell-shocked. At one point I was fighting back tears and considering shutting myself in the bathroom for five to ten minutes, but just then someone put a piece of cake in my hands, so I found something to focus my eyes on and I tried my hardest to completely zone out while I ate cake. Eventually people went home. The fewer people there, the more I felt like I could think and breathe again, and towards the end, when just my parents and siblings remained, I actually was having a fabulous time visiting with my family.
It was Oona's party, but I have to share this pic of my nephew/godson. Truman has a big round head (big brains!) and he likes to put stuff on his head. While eating breakfast, he reached over his tray and pulled off his socks. One sock was tossed on the floor, and the other he tried to pull over his head. When he realized he wasn't going to get the sock on like a hat, he just laid it on top of his head and went back to eating his bagel. I guess his head was colder than his feet. :) GAH! He's soooooo cute!
Truman is really into the alphabet right now, and he was reading the birthday banner hanging in the diningroom the night before the party. "H, A, P, P, P, ..." "No, that's a..." my sister started to correct him, but then she looked at the banner. "Oh. Nevermind. You're right." :D
While we were all that way east, we wanted to visit with our friends John and Grace and their kids who live pretty close to my sister, so after we left my sister's, we picked up some pizzas and headed to John and Grace's house. It was cute kid overload. People who know me know that I don't relate to kids well at all, and that busy, energetic, talkative little people are often way too high energy for me to handle, but John and Grace's kids are every bit as cute and smart and sweet as my niece and nephew are, and very close in age. They are painfully adorable! John and Grace are awesome people too. ;) I wish I'd gotten some pictures of their kids, but I was *completely* wiped out at that point, and my brain had definitely shut down to basic life-support only.
We had a very nice visit with our friends, then took the two hour drive home and collapsed. It would've been nice to have another weekend to recover from that weekend, but it was a hell of a lot of fun all the same!
I definitely got up too early today. I hate it when you wake up because your brain fires up in a busy panic over all you have to do in a day, yet said brain hasn't had enough rest to process thoughts properly. I'm up, but now that I'm needing to get some thinking work done, my thinker is still only half conscious. ...Am I making sense? I can't tell. argh.
We had a busy weekend full of family. Saturday was Craig's aunt and uncle's 50th anniversary party. It was just like going to a wedding reception. Even though they'd been married 50 years, the bride and groom were giddy and playful and still looking as happy as newly-weds together, which was really sweet to see.
We got there and walked in to a reception hall full of extended family(-in-law), and I was overwhelmed into stupidity for a while. I now remember that the happy couple was standing right by the door to greet people coming in, but I was dumbfounded and walked right by them without even making eye-contact. Just one more example of why people tend to think I'm a rude bitch even though I'm mostly just dense and horribly introverted.
It was a nice reception, good food, great people, pretty decorations, cake, the whole shebang. The DJ tried so hard to get people dancing, but it wasn't until he played the chicken dance that people started moving. We were discussing this on the way home, noting how Polish people love the chicken dance. "How come you didn't dance the chicken dance?" I teased. He replied, aghast, "You don't dance to your national anthem!" :D That boy does make me laugh!
Sunday was a surprise birthday party for my dad's 60th. I had a lot of anxiety about this one, not only from being socially exhausted from Saturday night still, but for fear that we'd wind up talking politics and I would have to leave. To my surprise and immense relief though, I never heard one single political or religious comment the whole day.
It was nice visiting with my family, and I was especially thrilled to visit with my niece and nephew. I'm so mad I forgot to bring my camera!!! Those kids are cute, and I'm not someone who usually likes children. Oona wants to be a T-rex for Halloween. :) At one point my youngest cousin (she's also my god-daughter) went out to the car and came back in with Halloween masks. They were rubbery, full-head masks, including a toothy reptile and an alien of some sort, and you'd think most three year old girls would be scared, but not my girl. She was giggling like crazy. Toward the end of the day, she actually put the reptile mask on, which was hysterical. At one point my god-daughter put the alien mask on, and my sister set Oona and Truman with her for photos. It was FAR better than getting your kids picture with Santa or the Easter Bunny! I was so mad I forgot my camera!
Also, Craig has nicknamed Truman "T-bone", and I think it might stick. I overheard Oona calling him T-bone. *giggle* Those kids are so damn cute! I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT TO BRING MY CAMERA!!! ARGH!!!
My aunt, who loves planning social gatherings, had brought a bunch of board games, but the only thing we wound up playing was Guitar Hero on my cousins' PS3! :D
Both parties were a good time, but this weekend wore me *out*! We have no plans for next weekend, and we both agree we need to keep it that way. Craig needs the weekend because he gets antsy if he doesn't have time to do projects on the weekends. I, however, just need the quiet time.
My coffee cup is empty. Time to refill it and try braining again. I have so much braining I need to do today. argh.
It's been a crazy see-saw weekend so far. I'm hoping for a couple of quiet, boring days to wrap it up before back-to-work Wednesday.
Yesterday we ran into town. Craig treated us to icy mochas which I *REALLY* needed as not only was the sun super burninating, but I did not get anywhere near enough sleep the night before. We popped in to WoodCraft so he could get some supplies and sign up for a class, and then we went to Harbor Freight where he bought me a stand for my kiln! *SQUEE!!!* I seriously have to clean out the mudroom... or rather, "my studio" so I can get it all painted and organized now. :D
Our last stop(s) was GameStop(s) where Craig got me one last present: Okami!!! Gods, I love that game!!! I played most of last night and I'm already jonesing to play some more this morning. How awesome is a game based on Japanese mythology where you play a godlike white wolf with a magical watercolor paintbrush?!!! It's a gorgeous game, and I love playing it!
The first GameStop we went to didn't have a game Craig was looking for, Marvel: Ultimate Alliance, so we went to another store and picked up a copy, then went home to PLAY!
Not only did we have our newly purchased games, but we bought some WiiWare online to play too. Turns out there's a StrongBad game out. It's delightfully silly. And then I bought Dr. Mario Online. ... That deserves a respectful pause. I L-O-V-E Dr. Mario. It's my favorite game -ever-. I swear I get some sort of major endorphine rush every time I clear a level in that game. When I lived at home, I used to stay up very late playing Dr. Mario, like some cokehead wanting just one more line ...just one more. As tired as I was all day yesterday, I stayed up until after 1am playing Dr. Mario, and then I played most of the night in my dreams. :) I easily could've stayed up MUCH later playing. :D
We did have a bad scare yesterday though. The bunnies were fine when we left to go shopping, but when we got back, Jasmine was having trouble getting around and she had some major Parkinson's like trembling going on. Her breathing sounded really wet and labored too, but I'm still not convinced that wasn't just from panic when I picked her up to check her over. Of course, our bunnies only have health emergencies on Sundays *AND* holiday weekends. I didn't want to take her to emergency care because we had such an awful experience the last time I had to take her there (the damn "vet" picked her up BY HER HIND FEET!) I tried to get some wet veggies into her, but she wasn't interested in eating. I was pretty sure she wasn't going to be with us much longer, but by the evening she was steadier, breathing much better and eating like normal. She seemed even a little better this morning. I wonder if maybe she had a stroke??? Or maybe she just came down with a really bad cold that had her down for half a day??? I don't know, but I'm still going to try to get her into a vet today or tomorrow. That alone is going to stress her the hell out -which can cause health problems. Rabbits are such fragile creatures. Good thoughts for my old girl, please.
So Mom is on her way to Denver for the funeral, I have letters to write to my uncle and cousins today, Jasmine is under the weather in a scary way, but life is otherwise quiet at Chez Szczublewski. We still have two more days to our holiday weekend, and I'm hoping they're enjoyably uneventful.
And I'm DAMN glad it's September. The end of August marks the end of summer in my book, and I'm so glad to see that bitch go. I need to do a little cleaning today and bust out my fall decorations.
Craig took me out for breakfast today. The plan after that was to do some shopping for project supplies, then pick up my mom and check out a local fine arts show.
The art show was fun but HOT! (I hate summer.) I chatted up every flameworker there, and there were quite a few. I talked to them all about their studio setup and equipment. They were *all* extremely friendly and happy to talk shop with me. There were also a bunch of glass-blowers, but I know nothing of glass blowing so I didn't pester them. Still, glass work in all it's various forms seems to be the in thing right now. Craig talked with all the woodworkers, the turners at least. My mom just had a great time wandering around looking at all the pretties. :)
After the art fair, we made a quick stop for a few groceries and then headed back to Mom's for an early dinner and a few hours in the pool. Ah, the pool! I love my mom's pool. Soooo nice. Ant stress or tension you're harboring just dissolves when you're floating in a pool. I didn't want to get out, but my mom had baked brownies for us.
And it never seems to fail. Whenever I'm feeling most ready to just be rid of everything I own, someone will give me some stuff. My brother gave me two of my dad's paintings today. *SQUEE!!!* They aren't very good examples of his work, but they hung in the house I grew up in for as long as I can remember. I was never sure what happened to them, but Marc had them apparently, and he passed them on to me. I am so completely sentimentally attached to these paintings, I can't even tell you. I'm *thrilled* to have them and I can't wait to hang them. I just hope my dad won't see them and try to steal them back. MINE!
I'm pooped out, and tomorrow there's work to be done again. Bed time now. Only a four day week though! Craig has Friday off, as well as next Monday and Tuesday! That's right. My Big Birthday Weekend is going to be a 5-day celebration!!! I have to cram a lot of work into the next four days and work hard in preparation for playing hard, because I am going to enjoy every single minute of next weekend. Good times.
OH! Real quick, Mom told me an Oona (my 3 yr old niece) story tonight. I guess her dad took her to the mall to buy her first bike helmet. She got to pick it out herself. She was so excited and proud of her helmet. Adrian put it on her to check the fit, and Oona did NOT want to take it off! The cashier had to scan her head to ring up the sale. *snort* :) She wore it through the mall, back to the car and all the way home. :) That's *my* chinstrap girl! She's so much like her Aunt Meanie! :D
I've been thinking a ton the past couple of weeks, really huge thoughts. I've been rehashing some drama and mentally rehearsing some things I'd really love to say to some people. I've been evaluating where I am in life and thinking about where I want to be. I've even been having these massive idea storms, big ideas, things that could change lives but which would also be an unbelievable amount of work and painful stretching out of my introverted nature. I wish my head would shut up for a while, just give it/me a rest. Even my dreams rain down on me with things that need to be thought about. It's no wonder I'm not sleeping well.
And it's back to school time again, a favorite time of year for me even now that I'm fantasizing about going back to school. I know I could put myself back in school, but it's not really that simple, ...or really it's the simplicity of it and not the school so much that I'm wanting.
Life was simple when I was in school. It's not that it was easy, I know that. I remember the struggles. I don't even idealize my childhood because I remember how powerless I felt as a child, not having the ability to help my parents when I knew they needed help. Life is never easy. If you remember it being easy, you were either comfortably ignorant or you're forgetting something.
What was simple though was my path. I didn't have so many demands on my attention, so many distractions, so many possessions and possibilities and opportunities. I had what I had and I did what I had to do. I miss *that*.
I've been so very tempted the past couple of days to ramp up the slow and steady cleaning up of my life, and just walk through the house with a trash bag sweeping large armfuls of "no longer me" into the trash, just to be rid of it. I want the mass sort and purge to be done already. I don't think it's a bad idea. It's terrifically wasteful and it would cost us a small fortune in trash-tags, but it might be worth it just this once, a complete cleaning of the slate and a real new start.
The weather this morning is "GORGEOUS*! Can it be autumn now??? It feels like it. Just gorgeous!!!
I'm a bit out of sorts, but the weather is soothing at least. I'm burned out on work, way out of balance as far as life in general, and very worried about Jadine and the family.
I'm getting so burned out that I even feel crispy. I've been working hard the past couple of weeks, but not playing hard, more like playing vegetable. My brainz hurt, and it doesn't occur to me to do anything by keep breathing. *shrug* I'm getting work done though, and that's good. I just need to budget my time better, so I get to the stress-relieving, sanity-preserving kinds of activities *before* I've hit the stare into space and drool point. I could use some exercise too. I don't understand why spending the whole day working through mental knots should leave me completely physically exhausted, but it does. I try to take regular breaks to do things like tend my garden, hang the laundry, and make some clean spots around the house, so it's not like I just sit for hours on end. *shrug* I'll figure this out.
I loved last night's SYTYCD finale, but I don't want to spoil it for anyone. ...But I want to talk... Ok. If you don't want to know anything about it, AVERT YE EYES! THAR BE SYTYCD SPOILERS BELOW!!!! I'll avoid names though, as far as results go. That would only be fair, since I'm too lazy to hide stuff in my Vox posts.
First, they danced all of my favorite routines from the season! I was so happy (and pre-menstrual) that I cried. Had loads of goosebumps too. (I'm a fangrrl, I know.) I would've liked to have seen that scary-carnival Mia Michaels routine again though, the one on par with Wade Robsin's work. That was like dark candy! Mary Murphy danced last night, and WOW!!! It makes it so much easier to put up with her screeching knowing that she can move like that! I kept thinking, "That's HOT!...No, that's Mary Murphy!!!...But DAMN!!!" The things I was feeling were so WRONG! heh. That chick can move though! DAMN!!! I could've done without the Jonas Brothers, but the Cirque performance was AWESOME! Scary, dancing bunnies and dark humor and the Cirque du Soleil! It's like they planned that one *just for me*. Delightful! As for the results? The final three were all my favorites, and I couldn't have picked between them, so once it got down to those three, I was ok with whatever happened from there. The one who won absolutely deserved it though. So very talented! ...Now I wait until next year for season five. *sigh*
Ok. I've survived another morning. (*spit*) My mission for this weekend is to play hard, whatever that may entail. I need to restore some balance in my life.
